You want the best care for your children as well as support for you and your spouse. Quick medication fixes usually cover cover problems rather than facilitate more permanent growth and change. If you have a moment, check out my You Tube Video.
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling, Naperville Family Counseling: Couples, Naperville Family Counseling: Families, Naperville Family Counseling: Hypnosis/Hypnoanalysis, Naperville Family Counseling: Kids & Teens, Naperville Family Counseling: Marriage Counseling
Tagged academic problems, adolescents, children, counseling, counselor, couple conflict, couple therapy, educational, family, family counseling, family therapy, hypnosis, marital, medical hypnosis, naperville, psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy, school problems
You Tube Brief Discussion may be helpful. Sometimes medication management works, sometimes not. Most times it may just cover over old symptoms, missing the root causes of the primary problems associated with depression, anxiety disorders, losses real or impending. It is difficult to concentrate and learn when a person’s mind is filled or avoiding current worries.
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling, Naperville Family Counseling: Couples, Naperville Family Counseling: Families, Naperville Family Counseling: Hypnosis/Hypnoanalysis, Naperville Family Counseling: Kids & Teens, Naperville Family Counseling: Marriage Counseling
Tagged anxiety, attention, Attention deficit disorder, child psychiatry, counseling, depression, divorce and children, heredity and attention disorder, parental loss, psychology, school performance
When a couple wants to stay together, they may need to first prepare for couple therapy rather than being stuck in gridlock (which is where traditional couple therapists lose their clients).
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling, Naperville Family Counseling: Couples, Naperville Family Counseling: Families, Naperville Family Counseling: Hypnosis/Hypnoanalysis, Naperville Family Counseling: Kids & Teens, Naperville Family Counseling: Marriage Counseling
Tagged affairs, counseling, divorce, marriage, naperville, psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy, relationships
Our Mission: We innovate solutions to fit your specific problem. It is done individually, one at a time. If this is a couples’ issue, our interventions may begin in a couple setting. Many times in the case of gridlock, we need to take a step back and do preparatory work. Working with children and adolescents may include a parent “sitting in”, particularly younger children. We may need to work together to help the family “container” as part of helping the youngster. Once again, each situation is identified from a personalized point of view, which is shared as we obtain a very detailed history. In the care of children, we begin by seeing each parent (if possible) for about ½ hour for developmental information and family issues. In the case of adolescents, we individualize, based on age and maturation. In the case of adults, we obtain a broad based history of many more questions than another doctor has ever asked you. By the way, I am Board Certified in Psychiatry and by examination, am also licensed as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. I used to prescribe a lot of medications, but no longer. I used to try and answer a lot of questions regarding medication side effects and never got to the root of the problem. If someone else is prescribing I am happy to work with that other doctor. If you wish a referral or second opinion, I will help you get one. I wish to treat primarily by providing intensive, yet brief medical psychotherapy, which is further, facilitated using medical hypnosis. I am a clinical member of the AAMH.com American Academy of Medical Hypnoanalysts as well as AACAP.org The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Affililate Member. Following the detailed history, depending upon the age of the patient, we do a word association exercise, which allows us to tap into unconscious/subconscious material that we have long forgotten as part of childhood amnesia. For example, I may ask: “sometimes I feel stuck at age”…? Or, “at the end of the road”…? You respond immediately, without self-judging, or self-holding back. You let it all out, as you wish help for yourself. This word association exercise may take two sessions to complete. Finally, I suggest that you will have a dream about the problem. “The dream will be so vivid that it will awaken you from your sleep” and you are requested to write it down immediately, do not try to figure it out, just bring it in for your next session, so that we can make sense out of it and give you feedback about the dream, the word association, and how this all fits into your history. You receive feedback quickly, usually less than 10 hours of office time. It is an important eye opener, because it will make sense to you from a much deeper personal perspective than the conscious worry, concern or complaint that brought you into therapy. From here on we help you develop new tools to alleviate you’re suffering as you become more able to live your life in the now, rather than your worry, concern and discomfort associated with the past and future. You learn new skills, like the capacity for self-observation or mind sight. Call me (630-527-1631) if you have questions or concerns. Cost is $150 per session. I am a Blue Cross PPO provider. My billing office can also let you know about costs, if I am out of your network. I also treat pro bono, young professionals in the mental health field and children, which make up 10% of my office practice. This is my way of staying connected to my own roots and the community. Thanks for reading.
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling
1. Each child as an adult sees things their own way and you are not going to change their perceptions, even if you know what is best. 2 parents view their children differently than children do themselves. 3. Parents tend to believe that their children are part of themselves, like it or not. 4. Children are gifts from the Universe or God and therefore, just pass through us as parents. 5. Each child seeks their own happiness or endeavors to become their own person in their own way. 6. Intense feelings of sadness, loss, or joy are symptoms of family “growth pains” are normal and part of holiday seasons. 7. It is best for parents to say less than a talk more during holidays. 8. Listening to one’s children’s struggles, challenges, wins and losses can be a window of opportunity to give praise to the child enduring uncertainty and growth. 9. Before passing judgment, the wise parent is aware that his or her child wishes to be seen and appreciated for they’re own individual struggles. 10. Be kind to each of your children and then remember to be even gentler a more compassionate towards yourself for your own suffering. Out of pain comes growth and wisdom.
Normal
0
0
1
243
1390
Naperville Family Counselor
11
2
1707
11.1539
0
0
0
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling
Most psychiatrists draw heavily upon medication management to obtain rapid relief of symptoms that a child may present. For example ADD (attention deficit disorder) or depression(s) or anxiety states. I have found that in most cases (just my opinion) that if we have a cooperative family and include them in the mix, that we can incorporate a new understanding of what the child needs from the family system. Sometimes for example, helping the family deal with what a parent experiences as a crisis differently, reduces tension for all concerned, while at the same time teaching the child self relaxation techniques that take the place of the highly charged emotional environment at home. Let’s consider little John (a fictitional person and name) who felt anxious most of the time. He had difficulty in school he stated, “because my momory was bad”. Looking at the family history, we found that mom was not emotionally very available because of her own health issues when little John was an infant. He wanted to sleep in the same bed with mom and dad because it felt safe, secure and warm and he would be there between the both of them. That is what he wished for and wanted back then that he could share with me. The parents put him back in his own bed most of the time, but that is what he longed for. I pointed out to the parents, that little John is a bright, very sensitive child and if he were not as sensitive, then his early experiences would not have mattered. On the positive side, as he has learned to relax himself and the parents have also, he notes that his ability to learn, listen in class and creativity have improved. No meds and more permanent change for not only John but his sibs. We have treated the entire family system in this case. Each child is different, they are developmentally different, and each family made up of individuals with their own history is different. Therapy is dynamic, unique, created for and by the interactions by the individuals and their unique connections with the therapists as well as an appreciation for what goes on between them as a family network. Many times it is important to explore the subconscious/unconscious baggage that get triggered in our work together. This is the domain of hypnoanalysis and mind sight development and also includes many different therapeutic “relearning” skills like cognitive behavioral therapy in terms of that small child that might have felt confused, not very valued, full of self dislike, you name it. Those early opinions of that little child can be modified and fast by attending to very early perceptions. I know this sounds confusing to the reader perhaps, but you are invited to call or email for further information.
Comments Off
Posted in Naperville Family Counseling, Naperville Family Counseling: Couples, Naperville Family Counseling: Families, Naperville Family Counseling: Hypnosis/Hypnoanalysis, Naperville Family Counseling: Kids & Teens, Naperville Family Counseling: Marriage Counseling
Tagged Effective Office Medical Psychotherapy without the toxicity of medication, Kid's Help-Medical Psychotherapy without toxic medication effect, Medical psychotherapy without medication, Teen psychotherapy that addresses subconscious conflict
The relationship a youngster has with parents, coaches, those whom he learns from is crucial. We know that ultimately, the dream of becoming an excellent athlete needs to become the dream of the child. That dream is initially shared by the parents, coaches and friends. How we facilitate the process “growing the dream” requires people who understand not only conscious but also subconscious motivations. If a youngsters is having difficulties, we need to also address subconscious issues. Hypnoanalysis goes to the root causes of these questions. It is brief, non-toxic, directed and kids enjoy getting to know themselves. Too many times the child gives up on a sport “hating it” because it feels like an infliction upon him/her. How we can help, becomes the goal of enhancement of athletic skills. The dream has to become that of the dreamer.
Most people with weight problems don’t like themselves very much and their problems began earlier than they can recall. We bring them back to the origin of their problem, fast using Hypnoanalysis. Anyone with this problem knows that food is his or her friend who is always there to take the place of something else. Maybe it’s a feeling, or a relationship, or even anticipated worry and concern that trigger excessive eating. All of these concerns are about the past or future. Very little energy spent on looking at the present moment. Someone who believes the world runs on Dunkin’ (donuts) reported, “the coffee tasted great, but before I realized, I ate two of the three donuts I ordered”. Consumed with a sense of failure surrounding poor dietary intake control, I suggested we develop a new way of management. To keep this gender neutral lets call the person Fresser. I suggested that Fresser in a nice, relaxed hypnotic trance, visualize their hand slowing raising with that last donut and bringing it up to eye level. Then stop and ask themselves: (1) Do I wish to reach my normal, idealized weight? (2) I Visualize’ myself having reached my chosen ideal weight! (3) I slowly focus in on that image and then shift my focus onto the one remaining donut. This is a mental exercise that makes your mind stronger as you do all this shifting and looking inside yourself in the present moment. It is not easy to be present and think about your conflicting wants…. We want what we want…NOW. And we come to live with the consequences of our choices. If you choose to eat the remaining donut, DO IT AND ENJOY! If you chose to not eat it, PAT YOURSELF ON YOUR BACK, for that decision. Mind sight, is making a space inside your head to slow down, reflect and hold the dilemma Before your decision. That is a big change from living without being present. Being stuck in the past or future is like playing the same old stuff over and over again and expecting a different out come. Growth means being in the moment and living that moment to the fullest experience by tolerating and reflecting on your experience. It takes practice. Strong feelings stirred up can offer great rewards in the long run toward our growth. We embrace whatever comes up or develops. Now let’s consider the title of this article: Always Leave Something On Your Plate. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? Why waste food? When we were little, we were told many things. Our parents told us and we were supposed to take them as truths. For example, if you did as you were asked, perhaps you were treated with special food snacks or outings to a fast food place. Those special treats were not nutritious. They were highly refined carbohydrates, fats and meat, high in calories, poor in nutrition but left you with the warm feelings of having done well by your parent. How about “finish your plate if you want desert”? Each family has its own food and snack rituals and they all have memories and feelings attached. Eating is much more than putting nourishing fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into our stomachs. We have learned to crave other things that have little or no nutritional value other than calories. Over time, we gain excessive weight and it becomes more difficult to move around. The time has come to become aware that only you can decide what to eat. You need to be in the present moment. Sitting with a bag of something in front of the TV, or munching in your car, or driving thru the fast food line is not being conscious. It’s letting someone else decide, for example, “would you like fries with that”? You need to think about and buy good, nutritious food for yourself and you need to learn to read labels. Yes, read labels because you have a fat problem as well as being unconscious about your choices. Yes you need encouragement and you know that Diets Don’t Work (see my blog). The idea of always leaving something on your plate, even a tiny fork amount is your conscious statement about your presence: “I used to be that child who tried to please that parent. I am no longer that child and I will decide for myself what my pathway toward health will be”.
Whatever your choice, there will be feelings attached to your memories and that can lead you toward further self understanding and better decision making regarding your health. I love Weight Watchers because they offer tremendous group support and educational activities. That’s a start, now how about the psychological luggage in your tote bag that helps deposits of fat around your organs and in your blood vessels?
I. Martin Kraus, DO, LCPC-Board Certified Psychiatrist-630-527-1631
I have heard this complaint many times and it reflects pain in the parents. What can I do or should I be concerned or I have tried cutting privileges and nothing seems to work. I feel confused as the parent. LET’S SLOW DOWN A BIT!•Becoming your own person occurs throughout our lives and it is preceded by a crisis (real or imagined). So, what is a crisis at 14? She won’t tell you because she may not have the words or experience to put it all into words as yet.
•As a parent when you ask or try to enquire you are stone walled, kept out. Don’t take it too personally. It is not about you. It is about her crisis. Don’t make it yours. She does not have to look happy and smile for you. If she asks for advice, give it; reminding her that one hand washes the other (her good deeds and good will is appreciated by you and will lead to more of the same, should she desire it).
•Pick your battles carefully, butting heads or playing the heavy by taking away age appropriate social privileges only ups the ante. To open relational doors, consider attempting to view your child as being in a painful “growth spurt”. She lacks the self-observing capacity and the words to help you understand. She needs to get reflection and clarification from her social contacts.
•WHEN SHOULD YOU GET CONCERNED? When or if she is not functional in her work at school or socially. If you see her involved in high-risk behaviors (more than age appropriate experimentation), alcohol/drugs/problems with the law THEN GET CONCERNED. I also look at sleep/wake cycles. Teens may need a lot more sleep in order to function adequately and deal with their growing pains. If the child cannot sleep and is chronically burnt out, anxious and depressed then a consultation may be helpful to get a deeper, closer look. The parent is in the midst of the forest and cannot see each individual tree, much like your growing child. If you need a little help, give me a call.
Most of us don’t like to suffer. If we have a fear we want it to go away. We stick our head in the sand and try to make-believe that it is not so important. Right? We can’t always get away from it, however. Why? The damn thing just keeps reappearing in our conscience mind, rearing its ugly head up at us. Why? Do you know why? I’ll give you a hint. Freud called it the unconscious. Carl Jung may have called it the Collective Unconscious. But now with all of our new neuroscience findings and Daniel Segal’s MD work on Mind Sight (www.Dan Siegal MD), know that our brain has a right and left sides as well as many, ,many more network connections so that our brains are multitasking all time. So we may be phobic about something, like feeling trapped in a long line in the grocery check out or afraid to be out side driving on the tollways or stuck in an elevator. I once asked a patient: Suppose you won a contest to go around the world for 3 months, all expenses paid. “Yes, I love the idea of travel”, my patient suggested. Then I added,” in a submarine”? The color ran out of her face as she suddenly became panic stricken. “No way”, she responded, “I would feel terribly trapped and in terror”. We found out later that in-utero (before she was born) that the umbilical cord and placenta had some problem and she was not getting enough air and nutrition. She was delivered by C-section. The memory before birth persisted in her right side of her brain in her subconscious mind. This part of your brain is much, much more powerful than your conscious willpower. So to overcome your fear, sometimes you need to tap into stuff you cannot even remember the origin of. She needed to recall a feeling of almost dying and feeling trapped inside her mother’s womb. We helped her do that. We had a plan to help her re-work her belief system. No longer was she that tiny infant who had experienced mortal danger. She had to relive that terror in small doses and also needed to practice new behaviors in context of our supportive relationship. While learning self-hypnosis as well, she with practice, gradually overcame her current phobias using self talk and re-parenting that tiny terrified infant inside herself. She tried to avoid all of her fears all of her adult life, because her fears did not make sense. This is one example of how we help people using hypnoanalysis. In a therapeutic relationship based on trust and support, we can go back to the origin of the problem, usually 10-12 office hours. By bringing back to life, old forgotten memories and re-living them in the context of relaxing hypnosis, we can then help alleviate pain and suffering for good.
